Reasons Why Men Cheat

Men are somewhat different than women when it comes to cheating, and a lot of that difference arises from the fact that men tend to define infidelity rather loosely. Keep in mind this famous statement: “I did not have sexual relations with that woman.”
What do you consider as cheating in a relationship ?

Does cheating in a relationship only all  about sexting outside your relationship?
 More generally, most men would say that utilizing porn as a sexual outlet while in a primary, committed relationship is not cheating. (Most women would disagree; for proof, heterosexual male readers could just ask their wife or girlfriend what she thinks.) So does viewing porn count as infidelity? If it does, then a lot of men are cheaters. What if the person you’re sexting with doesn’t live anywhere near you and there’s no chance you’ll ever meet up in person? How about video chat? While you’re video chatting, does it matter if your or the other person’s clothes are off?
I consider all these as cheating.
The underlying message is that Honesty and relationship transparency is the only meaningful path to genuine intimacy, not to mention personal integrity and self-esteem.


 By far the most common justification I hear from men who cheat is “What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.” It never ceases to amaze me how many men truly believe that misguided statement. In reality, most cheated-on partners sense, at the very least, the emotional distancing that accompanies a man’s sexual infidelity and affairs. Let’s face it: If a guy is a good liar, his partner may not know the details of what goes on behind her back. But the bottom line is that the cheater never fully gets what he wants—a clean getaway—because infidelity is nearly always discovered eventually, and when that happens it inevitably comes with devastatingly painful consequences.

                                   Reasons from our previous survey on Why Men Cheat

                                       
                                                       1 He is insecure.
 Deep down, he feels that he is too young, too old, too fat, too thin, too poor, too stupid, or too whatever to be desirable. He uses flirtation, porn, and extramarital sex as a way to feel better about himself, to reassure himself that he is still desirable, worthwhile, and “good enough.”
    He is immature. He thinks that as long as his partner doesn’t find out, he’s not hurting anybody. He doesn’t understand that significant others almost always know when something is up. He doesn’t “get” that his partner will eventually find out what’s been going on, and when that occurs, it won’t be pretty.                                              
                                             2 He is addicted.

 Perhaps he has an ongoing, problematic relationship with alcohol or drugs that affects his decision-making and disinhibits him. He may also have an issue with sexual compulsivity, meaning he uses sexual activity as a way to self-soothe, escape uncomfortable emotions, and dissociate from the pain of underlying psychological conditions.
                              
  3  He is bored, overworked, or otherwise put-upon (in his mind), and feels deserving of something special that is just for him—hiring prostitutes, viewing porn, or having affairs. Or maybe he wants more attention from his mate and thinks a period of pulling away will cause her to comply.
    He is confused about love. He mistakes limerence—the “rush” of early romance—with love. He does not understand that in truly loving relationships, the early, visceral attraction is gradually replaced by sweeter feelings of longer-term attachment, honesty, commitment, and emotional intimacy.    
                                             
                                                4 He wants out.
 He is looking to end his current relationship and is using external sexual and romantic activities to give his wife or girlfriend “the message” without having to be direct. Or, if he is a man who doesn’t like being alone, period, then finding a new and “better” person before leaving a current relationship provides a safer and softer landing.                            

                                               5  He’s a liar.
 He never intended to be monogamous, despite his commitment. He doesn’t understand that his vow of fidelity is a sacrifice made to and for his relationship and the person he professes to love. This man views monogamy as something to be worked around rather than embraced.
  
                                    
                                              6 He is damaged.
Perhaps he is acting out early trauma experiences, such as physical abuse, neglect, or sexual abuse. His formative wounds have left him unable or unwilling to fully commit himself to another person. He may also seek sexual intensity outside his relationship as a way to self-medicate (escape from) his emotional and psychological pain.
                                    
                                            7 He has unreasonable expectations.
He believes that his spouse should meet his every sexual and emotional need, 24/7, without fail. In his narcissistic and self-focused way, he doesn’t understand that his spouse may be juggling multiple priorities (kids, work, home, finances) in addition to him and the relationship. When this spouse inevitably fails him (in his view), he feels entitled to seek intimate attention elsewhere.

                                              8  Bonding and a peer community.
Having undervalued his healthy need to maintain solid, supportive friendships and community with other men, his reaction to a busy or distracted spouse is all the more injurious—as he expects all of his emotional and physical needs to be met by this one person.



Your comment count in this survey .
                What do you think is the reason why men cheat.?