By Francis Ewherido
Experts have adduced various reasons why people commit suicide.
Many, especially young
people, commit suicide when their relationships fail and they cannot
manage the accompanying heartache; some commit suicide due to alcohol or drug
abuse; some young people even commit suicide because they failed an exam! Young
men and even adults have also been known to commit suicide due to low
self-esteem.
Some adults commit suicide due to loss of source of livelihood. Some men
commit suicide when they find it hard to provide for their families.
Some men also commit suicide due to impotency.
Some people commit suicide to avoid facing the consequences of their
actions.
Now pre-teens, some as young as five years, are committing suicide
in the United States. Parents and experts are at a loss what are responsible
for this dangerous trend. As they take a closer look, patterns are beginning to
emerge.
They identified attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, which can make
impulsive children even more impulsive;arguments or disagreements with family
members and friends; bullying and influence of social media. But unlike adults,
depression did not seem to be a major reason why these pre-teens commit
suicide. We cannot dismiss this trend as a foreign problem. We have had records
of pre-teens who committed suicide in Nigeria, so parents had better start paying
more attention to their children. Beyond that, many of the people used by Boko
Haram for suicide bombings are preteens! Unlike preteens, many adults commit
suicide due to depression. This scares me because depression is a silent
killer, akin to high blood pressure. Spouses live with their other halves
suffering from depression without knowing. Friends hang out without knowing
their buddy is sliding mentally. The state of the Nigerian economy over time
has not helped matters. What the economics indices and statistics experts reel
out does not correlate with the real economies of many Nigerians. A man has no
job, his take home pay does not take him anywhere near home; he cannot pay his
rent or he cannot pay children’s school fees. These are the issues confronting
the average Nigerian, not figures of gross domestic product, direct foreign
investment, growth rate, etc. As long as improvements in these indices do not
lead to better life for the average Nigerian, they mean nothing.
The economic situation in Nigeria is a major
reason for depression and suicide among
adults. Recently, Nigerian celebrities have joined the league of celebrities
worldwide suffering from depression and contemplating suicide. We can dismiss
the trend and say they are also human after all. Yes, but I tend to agree with
Afro-pop singer, Kelly Handsome, that many of them suffer from depression
because of the fake lives they live. A celebrity who does not keep it real will
likely live a dysfunctional life. No need trying to keep up with the Kardashians,
sorry, Joneses. Everybody has his race track in life. Just find yours and run
your race very well. Celebrity or not, you are human. Stop trying to live as if
you are superhuman or a god. The list of celebrities who committed suicide
abroad is long and scary. Before aping foreign celebrities, Nigerian
celebrities should just remember that those climes are different, so are the
values. They should seek help and drag themselves from the precipice before
they tip over. For the rest of humankind, remember that like in sports, form is
temporary. What is important is class, which is permanent. Pull yourself
together, find and live that life which you are destined for, your class will
evolve. Also remember that you are not alone. The fact that other people are
not putting their problems on their foreheads like a signboard does not mean
they do not have challenges. Majority of Nigerians are going through economic
hardship. It has been so for some time. But this hardship too will pass away.
Nothing lasts forever. If you are going through depression or suicidal
tendencies are manifesting, talk to a close friend or family. They say a
problem shared is half solved. Beyond that get professional help. There is
nothing to be ashamed of. What is actually shameful in many cultures in Nigeria
is a family member committing suicide. You would think that you have solved the
problem by killing yourself. But you leave a huge burden for those you left
behind. In those days, such families would be stigmatized; nobody wanted to
marry from or into such families. Recently, Prof Eghagha added me to a group:
Help a Soul Alliance (HASA). HASA, is a response to the increased rate of
suicide amongst Nigerians. HASA has set up an online community for anyone
struggling with mental and/or emotional challenges, to come in so as to receive
support and also to support others. HASA welcomes anyone who is currently
struggling; anyone who once struggled; anyone who struggles intermittently and
anyone who is interested in supporting members of this community. I am taking
the liberty of bringing this group to the notice of more Nigerians. Many people
are mentally ill without realizing it. Even if you are okay, a family member, a
friend, a colleague in the office or a church member might be going through
mental turbulence. Beyond talking to people close to you, people just need
professional help to stave them away from suicide. That is what HASA is all
about.

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